Boys, I love you. But today, this one is for my ladies. I am a very tall, little person, with a little junk in the trunk, and some extra on the side. That's me. My freshman year of college I spent every morning standing in front of my mirror and saying "I'm so fat." I was so afraid of gaining the "freshman 15" I lost 10 pounds my first semester. Women look in a mirror to reassure themselves. I see myself and want to feel strong, see beauty, and be worthy. What I used to see in the mirror was imperfection and I hated it. I was a detective of ugliness, and the evidence was stacking-up against me. It didn't help that my friends are beautiful. I know I'm not alone in this. Do you ever scroll through Instagram and feel jealous of the gorgeous women in your life well-up inside you? I do. I see the beautifully manicured faces and carefully modeled bodies that I couldn't be if I tried. They aren't models in magazines or celebrities in Hollywood, they are my friends. I see a lot of fingers pointed at Hollywood and the media for who is making the women of this world see ugly in the mirror. I think it's a fundamental issue older than Tyra Banks and Cosmo. What if our human desire to be perfect is the problem? Maybe air-brushing and runways is our modern-day answer for century-old insecurities. What can we do? We can fight for each other. Part of this pit of ugliness and self-hate is being in it alone. I can tell myself I'm beautiful all day, but when I'm around other women who treat me with love and respect, I know I'm worthy, and I feel beautiful. Also, let's do away with the lady-hating. No more bitches, whores, or sluts. Even when it's funny, every time we use those words we are saying "women don't matter, even to other women." Perfection is not possible, and that hurts. But imperfection is not as bad as we tell ourselves. Let's not lie and say the stretch marks on my butt are beautiful, because we all know they are not. Instead lets look in the mirror and have love for what we see. I believe God made my body, and I believe He made it to be beautiful. Not because every square-inch of my body is mcsexy, but because it is built for a purpose: to be loved, adored, and respected. Sisters, mothers, daughters, and girlfriends, we are all at different mile-markers of the same highway. Grab a hand, because we were made to love and be loved. --Don't take an exit for anything less. Below is a series of women who all weigh the same, but own different bodies. I love the picture of them all standing tall together. They are bad-ass beautiful women proudly fighting against the ugly, battling together for the beauty. It's not the number on the scale, or the meat on your hips, it's you and your girlfriends deciding to walk the path of love together. Choose beauty, because ugly isn't worth your time anyways.
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I have long believed that it one small thing would make a huge difference for all us women. Those friends, the ones who are beautiful? I tell them that. I tell them when they look great, when they're wearing something fun or flattering. I share the observations that would otherwise remain a sense of jealousy or insecurity inside. And if we ALL do that, not only am I directed outward (to encourage rather than envy) but I'll also hear that those same women see beauty in me, see features in me that THEY value and esteem. And it's not just beauty, but personality, that comes under this umbrella. If we would speak out and encourage, rather than stew and envy, wow - what a different world it would be!!
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Lily
2/10/2014 05:47:55 am
Tanya,
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October 2016
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