I've always been afraid to be single and 40.
Which is hilarious because I'm only 24. I'm afraid of something that might happen 2 1/2 decades from now. How did I get like this? Somehow I started to believe that women who change the world, women who have big hearts, women who experience community- those women aren't single. What I have found is that I am a sexist. I thought I loved women, that I was proud of being one, but clearly I'm not. When did I get like this? I'm not sure. Somewhere probably around 5th grade. Growing up when I didn't feel whole, when my brokenness was raw and I felt unlovable, I was comforted by this "truth": "God has the perfect guy waiting for you. He is handsome and nice and everything you've ever wanted. Just wait and be patient for him to show up." How's that for coaching healthy self esteem? Let's be clear, The love story God has planned is mine and His. Not romantic love, but the love of a daughter for her father and it is EPIC. How dare I assume Him to do more than give me the greatest gift I've ever received - grace. A second chance. Eternal life. The greatest love story ever told is His with ours. The idea that this epic story is not enough, it's pathetic. God gave us each other to love and be loved. To have community, and friendship, and learn. Marriage has a place in that whirlwind of human relationship. It is a small reflection, a tiny glimpse at the most incredible love in existence. All my life I was made a promise no one can keep. There is no guarantee from The Creator of the universe that every young lady will have a man who loves them right. Instead God does us one better - He wrote an entire book of Him chasing after us. Pursuing our hearts, overcoming every obstacle to get to us. To be whole, We don't need to make up fake promises or pretend we know what's around the corner. God's story of love is more than enough to carry us through. -Lily
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AuthorMy name is Lily. Archives
October 2016
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