Today I was texting my good friend Caitlin Marshall about my awkward love life, and she was texting me about her awkward work life. We went back and forth, confessing and laughing at our own weird moments. I said we should write a book called "awkward people of America," she said, "let's make it a thing on our blogs, we could call it Awkward Wednesdays." Do you ever have awkward moments? Times when you do things that are socially unacceptable, when you ask yourself, "why do I make my life so embarrassing?" The moments I find myself saying, "Lily, get it together." Just this morning I was telling dear Caitlin about my most awkward habit. When any cute boy looks at me, or even worse, tries to speak to me, I die inside, and then do the awkwardest thing possible. This does include physically running away from the person. But does not exclude ignoring them altogether. I'm like a mean, angry nerd girl to 90% of the male population. It's terrible. And hilarious. And does not bode-well for my relationship status. [so if you like me... don't talk to me] My biggest issue is that I have learned to adapt to society enough to appear normal. I dress like a socially-acceptable person, wear makeup, straighten my hair, sometimes I can even get-out a few smooth one-liners. But it's all a lie. I'm so weird, I'm like on an expert level. I sing songs to myself all the time. They aren't even real songs, I just make them up. People catch me picking my nose and I pretend I'm not. I accidentally tag myself in Facebook photos of people I'm stalking. I stare at people. I make jokes that aren't funny. I have a really long, boring story for everything. I can't hit any category of sports ball with my hand, or foot, or face, ever. I never know when it's appropriate to talk about bowel movements. I spill stuff a lot. I always have food on my clothes, like a big hairy baby. I think I know how to dance, but I don't. I don't know how to talk to boys, and when I do, usually I'm mean to them. It feels so good to just come clean and be real. Those "get it together" moments happen to all of us, and I think we should share them with each other. Because weird, awkward moments make for the funniest stories. Also, it would make me feel like I'm not a freak. Do you ever feel awkward? What are your weird moments? #awkwardwednesdays You can find Caitlin's #awkwardwednesday post here: http://storybooklady.weebly.com/1/post/2014/01/awkwardwednesdays-its-a-new-thing.html
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I am always searching for ways to help connect the dots from my world to everyone else's. It's difficult, because I really love Jesus, and He makes my world different. Not better or more entitled, but the way I see things, what I believe in, how I experience life is not the same. And no set of "rules" or big white buildings do a good job of showing people what that world looks like. Obviously Jesus isn't all mine, so the life I experience isn't just mine. But 75% of the people I love wouldn't be on the same page with me when it comes to this Jesus stuff. I think this is more due to a lack of communication, and a failure to relate. Sometimes Christians make loving Jesus the most complicated thing in the world. America has created a religious context of lifestyle that has become embraced as the foundation of Christianity. By doing so, Jesus almost isn't there anymore. Recently I read a very short book called "How Good is Good Enough?" by Andy Staley. I also watched a documentary called "Beware of Christians." Both rocked my world. They make Jesus real, they pursue truth, and they discuss grace. This Jesus stuff is so much more than a religion, and these outlets go there. "How Good is Good Enough?" Andy Staley addresses the issue of being "good", how it's impossible, and according to Jesus, not a requirement. But he says it in a more profound, cool way [I promise].
And "Beware of Christians" ...well, I stayed up until four in the morning just to finish it. It's going on my top ten list. Four dudes. Cute, normal, everyday dudes, adventuring out into the world with one purpose in mind: figuring out what Jesus meant to them. They laugh, get mad, do dumb stuff, and ask the hard questions. They recognize the flaws of American Christianity and admit their own brokenness. I laughed, I cried, I was inspired. I checked if any of them were still single. Unfortunately, I was a little late. "Beware of Christians," can be found on Netflix. "How Good is Good Enough?" by Staley is $9.00 on Amazon, and the first chapter can be downloaded for free at: www.multnomahemails.com/wbmlt/pdf/How_Good_Is_Good_Enough_Andy_Stanley.pdf If you love Jesus: I think these resources could help you get your head-out of the clouds and love Jesus, and people, even better. If you don't love Jesus: I think these resources will not attempt to "convert" you in anyway. Rather, if you are at all curious about what loving Jesus looks like, I would recommend checking them out. If you don't know: cool beans. I would say,what could it hurt? I think being unsure is a sign of sanity. Eternity, faith, and Jesus... it's real, it's beautiful, it's big, and a lot of it feels invisible. lean in, be curious, see what happens. I don't know anything about marriage, except that my friends dig it. Stars of 2014 will include the unions of: Mack and Haley Lamon, Mike and Amanda Giffith, and of course the lovely Beau and Caitlin Marshall. These are just the weddings I will be joyfully involved in and fan-girling at, I can promise many more to be attended this year. When I was little I thought about getting married, a LOT. Actually, lets be honest, I still think about it quite a bit. But the daydreams of weddings are usually all about being the center of attention and having a party. Experiencing all the love stories my friends are in, it brings me out of the daydreams. Each of them have their own stories they could never have planned out. With each girl I remember sleepovers and car rides where there were tears shed and hearts poured out on behalf of the guy who might not exist or the guy who didn't quite like them yet. Even Cait, who kept a pretty cool exterior, I'm sure had her days of wondering. It's so funny how society teaches women, and maybe men too I don't know, to feel incomplete without a love story. I watch so many women force themselves into relationships in hopes of creating a story to mimic the daydreams of romance they have been refining for decades. But what makes me smile, is that almost every love story you hear of, was never planned-out or schemed before-hand. Rather, in almost every story, it takes people by surprise again and again. These days I hear a lot about apps and websites like match.com, tango, fill in the blank. People always ask me why I'm not on there, trying to fish someone out of the world that just may make me happy. It's because in my experience, real life happens when we aren't so busy trying to control it. I love movies. My favorite parts are the bloopers, because they're real. Instead of a scripted scene of people pretending to be someone else, gag reels show a group of actors being themselves. They curse, they joke, they get tired, they show who they are. I think it is the same in our unscripted moments. That's when real life, real love happens. So, a toast to the love celebrated this year, To the unscripted moments. credit to bobbyearl.com |
AuthorMy name is Lily. Archives
October 2016
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