The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. – Eric Hoffer Give thanks. This year has been one of the most meaningful of my life. From November of 2012 to Today, a lot has taken place in my heart. In August this year my parents came out to visit me, taking advantage of their time on the same continent. My dad and I always have very long conversations in the car when we visit. Well, anywhere actually. I love to talk, and my dad loves to listen and occasionally saying something very meaningful and intuitive. During their visit we were having one of these conversations and I commented on how much our family had changed over the years [immediate and extended]. I went on to describe my respect for these family members and how my value and appreciation for them had changed because they were so different. My dad lovingly smiled and said something very wise, as he often does, "maybe it's you that has changed." It was. I changed. The content and condition of my heart had transformed and taken on a new identity. That's why this Thanksgiving feels different to me. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for.... 1. College. I have never been so happy to receive an education. I genuinely, no matter how tired I am, feel joy and gratitude being able to attend every class and learn what I can. It is such a blessing, and I am beyond blessed to be able to go to Corban University. 2. Corban University's provost Mat Lucas The digest version: Dr. Lucas believed in me when no one should have, and it changed my life. 3. My parents. I am not the best daughter, I make mistakes,and I don't always call, and they never stop loving me. I get to have two great role models. If I could find a guy like my dad, I would be marrying the best guy I could get. They are always extending grace towards me and reminding me who I should be living my life for. Life is much more peaceful and blessed with their leadership and love. 4a. Younglife doing life with highschool people that constantly fill my heart with love and make me pee my pants with laughter. And yes, my glasses are orange, that's how we do. #boom (many, many, many, MANY faces not pictured. all of whom I dearly love and am equally thankful for) 4b. My head leader, Caitlin. Pictured above with her mouth wide open, caitlin is as close to an older sister as I will ever get. I wear her hand-me-downs like they're cashmere, she gives me good advice, and we have shared a pillow a time or two. I love her a lot and am so blessed to be lead by her and live life together. Also, I'm really excited she's getting married. 5. The ridiculous amount of people I get to have as best friends. I wish I could sit down and write a page for every person near and dear to my heart, but it would be a novel before I finished. This is what I will say, the people in my life love me in my brokenness in ways I don't understand. It is simple, beautiful, and sometimes I am overwhelmed by it. When I moved to Salem, Oregon, I never expected to be surrounded by so many people who cared that I existed. Here's to adventures, because you never know where they'll take you. [below are a teaspoon of the faces that I'm thankful for] 6. The Staley Family (Addie, pictured above, front and center) I love the Staley's! someday I will make it out to the family farm to meet the whole family, but so far miss Addie and Sydney have been a very joyful part of my college experience. Addie, my kids are going to thank you someday, when I know how to rock them. Thanks for teaching me to love babies. Sydney, you helped me fall in love with Chinese all over again! You were an answer to prayer, this year I needed something fun to do once a week. Teaching you Chinese is a blessing, and it makes me feel special. So thank you. Stephanie, thank you for sharing your beautiful girls with me! 7. The Reno Family Another family who blesses me. Sarah taught me defensive driving, and let me use her car to get my license. She gives me rides to church and lets me hangout with her kids. I have loved living life with your family Sarah! Your daughters are precious, and I love being the big sister. You made church feel like home to me, and that means a lot. [Below- Lily Reno and I hanging out at church] 8. My church! Court Street Christian Church is a diamond in the ruff. I grew up going to church, and not hating it. In college, I had a hard time finding a church that felt like home. I wanted to go to church because I loved being there, not because it was what the rules said to do, or because all my friends went. Somewhere I felt known and wanted. A place I could be myself and be a part. Through Wednesday night childcare, I discovered a home at Court Street. That family has meant a lot to me this year, and I am thankful for the opportunity to be included. 9. Mi familia My parents, my sister, my aunts, my uncles, my beautiful cousins, my grandparents, I am so thankful for all of them. I am thankful for family who loves each other no matter the time or distance we have separating us. A special shout-out to my aunt misty and grandma and grandpa houtcooper, who have me over whenever I need time at home, and always shower me with love. I am so blessed to grow-up with a family that is not perfect, but determined to love each other, even when it's really hard. Also, cousins are probably my favorite kind of family member. They are the best. 10. Coffee Starbucks was a ministry to my heart this year. Many days were changed by pumpkin spice lattes and frappuccinos. 11. My roommate across the hall Her name is Taylor Tuepker. And she is a daily encouragement. We get through life together, and when I'm annoying, she loves me anyways. When I start acting crazy, she loves me enough to tell me. Sharing a bathroom with this bundle of love, sass, grace, truth, fun, and wisdom is quite a treat. 12. Work I am so thankful to have a job! Not only that, a job with coworkers who quickly became best friends. Best friends that support me and cheer me up when I come in from a long day at school. 13. My Hamster I love him so much! 14. Fanny Way I live in a spacious house, with heating, a huge room to myself, and 7 wonderful ladies who all love Jesus. It's pretty cool. My roommates are understanding, loving, layed-back, respectful, and silly. I like them. 15. Curling wands I think we can all agree that my hairstyles have taken a big leap forward this year with the introduction of curling wands to my life. And that, is something I am thankful about. 16. My lab partner, Kim Kim is my lab partner. I think we're friends too. She has made every Tuesday bearable this semester. Its been a blessing to have such a fun companion to tackle physics with at 7:30 in the morning. 17. Public Transportation The bus is my best friend. I am so grateful for the ability to make it to class by bus. I wish I knew who was responsible for changing the bus times so I could make it to my 7:30 am lab...because I want to tell them how much that meant to me. One blessing of not having a car, this middle-class white girl has learned to depend on and love public transportation. Stereotypes broken, huzzah. 18. Sara Comstock Sara has been willing to get to know me this semester, and in between my clusters of thoughts, share her wisdom and stories. I appreciate it, and it's been a blessing to have such a successful professor, woman, mom, and scientist be willing to walk through life with me. 19. Jesus Short and sweet, Jesus changes my life everyday and it is cool. If that sounds crazy to you, it's ok with me. ...that's all folks. There is abundantly more for me to be thankful for. But those are the highlights for this year. Happy Thanksgiving!
0 Comments
I wish I could teach classes on traveling and life abroad. There is a lot you learn trotting around the world that sits in your brain, rotting away. Unfortunately, society is not very friendly to world travelers. Because once you have seen the world, you change. The change you experience comes from an understanding of reality. An unwelcome change. For example, the first time you see starving children. I remember, I was 8. I looked back behind our tuktuk on the outskirts of Chiang Mai, Thailand. and there were four children, running behind us. You can see the starvation of a person in their eyes. Their young brown eyes and small bodies were desperate. It was grotesque, heart-breaking, confusing, and did not fit into anything I had experienced so far in my life time. That was the beginning of an education I would not be able to share with everyone. When I graduated from high-school and moved on to college I quickly realized that no one wanted to hear my stories. And I couldn’t blame them. They weren’t there, their worlds were 1/5 the size of mine. Why would they want to hear about a life that to them, didn’t even exist? This phenomena still gets me today. What is it about America that makes us so uninterested in the world? To an extreme that we are almost offended by the reality of the nations that surround us? Why do we make assumptions about the lives and cultures of others because we are too scared to find out for ourselves? The most opinionated people I meet are the people who have never left the country. Isn’t that fascinating? Ironically, I hear so many young people who tell me they want to travel the world. What they mean, is that they are interested in gaining the social status of a world traveler, without the inconvenience of actually learning about the world and how it works. I know because I watched American tourists on vacation my entire life. They are fat, loud, obnoxious, and entitled. They are the reason most countries have a booming prostitution business. American tourists can travel a country for three weeks and leave without spending a second talking to someone from that country. They are simply transported from building to building. And we call this “experiencing the world.” As I write this I realize I began this post speaking out of my own frustration of being unheard. Now I realize my story may not be necessary to hear. However, the worlds story is waiting, and I’m afraid you’re missing it. please please please, take a second to think about your world view. Have you even tried to care about anything but your own surroundings? There is a world out there. And yes, it is easier to pretend it doesn’t exist. It feels better to be opinionated about places and people you don’t even know about. Do the hard thing. Go look some starving kids in the face. Read a book. Talk to someone who doesn’t speak English. You want to call yourself a traveler?
I am a people pleaser. My soul finds happiness and belonging in others. I love to love on other people. Strangely, I enjoy loving strangers, sometimes more than my own friends. Its an odd source of joy that comes from the happenings of my story. Somehow my experiences taught me to find value in helping others. In the love, appreciation, and trust others have for me. My deepest desire is to please everyone, to bring contentment and satisfaction to the people around me. In a broken world like this, with the brokenness inside of me, I have come to realize that the desires of my heart to please people often hurt more than they heal. Through this journey I have found myself fall sick to a disease that I think many people like me struggle with. The disease of self-denial. In my past I have consumed myself so much in the lives of others, that I have been able to hide from my brokenness. I have let my own personal needs, wants, and dreams become second to my desire to please others. I have compromised my own opinions to make amends and keep friendships. People like me, we tell ourselves that we need to deny ourselves to truly love others. What I have found is that the moment you stop caring about your own well being, is the moment you are unable to pour into the people around you. When you decide to please people you are committing yourself to a relationship that is not based on truth. You are committing to relationships that start-out life-giving and end bitter, awkward, and strained. You are trying to heal others with love you alone don't have to give. There are some truths I have learned to grab onto:
A wise woman I knew a few years back told me about a much older lady she knew. This old lady was widowed at a younger age of fifty and lived alone. But she mentored my friend and she would tell her, "always treat yourself the way you would treat a guest." This beautiful old soul made a gourmet dinner every night, just for herself. She would use linen table clothes and set the table with her favorite dishes. I love that. Friends, these are some simple thoughts from a health science major. I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to this writing stuff. This is to my fellow people-pleasers, Because we're all in this together. |
AuthorMy name is Lily. Archives
October 2016
Categories |